Like A Knife 34 :Reuploaded?:

Like A Knife Part 34

I let my gaze return to Patrick and Addi who were sitting on the bank, bodies entwining perfectly like a jigsaw puzzle that had long been a mystery. I was feeling too many things at a time to fully comprehend; anger, envy, heartbreak, happiness. Of course I was happy that they had found each other, as Patrick had never been the most confident of people, and this would surely boost his poise. But then again, I longed for it with Cammy. I wanted everything that they had so badly, I wished and prayed for it every moment of my waking life. The heartbreak was that I couldn’t have that with Keltie, that she was so fragile and I toyed with her like she was something I could care less about. I know that she loved me, truly, genuinely, loved me, and I know that I was grateful for that. She had the ability to save me from myself at times where no one else was there for me, to keep my sane when I was on the brink of madness.

The envy and the anger came from two parts of my mind, partly right next to each other. There was always something inside of me that hated seeing others so in love, so fulfilled, for reasons unknown to me. I had a feeling that it just deepened the whole in my heart, widened it and drained more and more feeling from me. I needed Cammy to fill that hole, and by the way she was looking at Spencer now, by the way she looked at Pete and Brendon and Patrick not too long ago, she wasn’t too interested anymore.

I pleaded silently that I was wrong.

I tried to make my watching less obvious as Patrick wrapped a long arm around her waist and pecked her lightly behind her left ear. I could see her face flush cherry red, and she giggled. I could see they were comfortable together, the love and lust that lurked deep in the depths of their eyes, as they laughed.

“Stop it! You’re too cute,” She giggled, nudging him in the side.

“I can’t help it,” He replied sweetly. “I’m sure you’re an angel.”

She leaned her head in close to his and whispered something in his ear. I could see him tilt his head back and laugh heartily, but I had to draw my eyes away from them as to not let him see me staring, watching their bliss come out. I could only take it in small doses, anyway.

But, upon turning my head, I was greeted by yet another pleasing and unpleasing sight. Moony and Pete were together, isolated from the rest of our friends. She was on Spence’s old tire swing, a smile erupting on her delicate face, as he pushed her without a care in the world.

At least it seemed like that.

I could never be sure with Pete whether he really was happy or he was just faking it to see them smile. Them…As in Moony and Cammy.

“Pete, you’re going too high!” She yelped, clinging to the swing for dear life. “Stop!” She exclaimed as the tree branch began to bend.

“No, you’re fine,” He insisted. “Just don’t let go!”

“Peter!” She shouted, laughing and still hugging the tire swing. Only had I ever heard her refer to him using his full name. “Panda!” She squealed again. Once again, normally people didn’t call him that. And I got a strong notion that it would stick.

I could see the anxiety in her eyes as she watched the tree bend and bow with her weight. She couldn’t have weighed very much just looking at her body shape, as she looked rather fragile, but the tree was old and dying soon. Giving in to her fear as she approached Pete again, she closed her eyes tightly and let go, toppling him to the ground.

As much as it looked like it had hurt, they sucked up the pain and laughed with one another. It was, once again, heartbreaking and envy provoking. I wished so desperately that it were me and Cammy. Speaking of which…

I turned my head and looked at her and Spence. She was still leaning on his shoulder, her eyes basically shut like she was asleep. She must have been tired, as she was breathing evenly and didn’t say a word to him. Spence got up carefully in a way that I couldn’t describe and took her in his arms. I watched as he carried her into his back door, and finally I lost sight of them.

“Ouch,” Moony laughed, on top of him.

“Sorry,” He apologized. “It was your fault you let go. I told you not to.”

“Well, it’s your fault you’re not a better cushion,” She replied, as he helped her to her feet. They embraced one another tightly, enjoying the time in each others arms, but didn’t give a hint as to if there was a relationship or not.

“Sorry I’m not softer,” He said to her, hand in her dark hair. “That was my fault.”

“That’s all right, Panda,” She said. “Soft, hard, all the same, you’re amazing,” She finished.

“I’m lucky I have you. I’d be in a straight jacket right now. Seriously,” He explained.

And then Brendon threw a pinecone at them.

“Fuck!” Pete cried, rubbing his head. “Brenny, what was that for?”

“I got bored,” He admitted innocently.

“So you pelt pinecones at unsuspecting people?” Moony asked him. “Lay off the energy drinks.”

“You stop telling me what to do!” He laughed.

“No,” She said, standing her ground, giggling. I was anxious to see if she could stand her ground.

“Yes!” He continued, giving her his huge, brown eyes.

“No…” She said. I could hear the doubt arising in her voice.

“YES!” He insisted.

Who was I to think she would remain dead set on what she was trying to accomplish? Nobody. Instead, she broke down and gave in to her soft spot for his innocence, and let him sink his way into her heart.

“Aww, Bden,” She caved. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.” She gave him a friendly hug.

“Thank you, Moony,” He replied, hugging her back. “I didn’t mean it either.” He seemed to be thinking about it some more, rolling over the thought in his head. “Well, actually, I kind of did. But I’m sorry anyway.”

I laughed to myself as Jon watched like he was in the movies, just about done with a blue ice pop that he had managed to steal from Spence’s refrigerator.

“Jon? Anybody home?” I asked him, chuckling.

“Not really,” He replied, turning his head towards me. “But I want another ice pop.”

“Hey, guys, I’ve got this friend…” Moony began, chiming into a conversation that she decided to start.

“Oh yeah?” Joe asked.

“No, I was being sarcastic,” She objected.

“You were? That was mean.”

“No, I was telling the truth,” She shot back. “Her name is Ray.”

I looked back at Patrick and Addi, still on the sand, loving their time together. And then it hit me.

He had been with Cammy last night, and he had been the one that made her cry.

And if there had been a kiss in that picture that Spence showed…He was cheating.

Curiosity struck me, propelling me to nose around in news that I wasn’t invited to know about.

And curiosity killed the cat.