Some of Us Just Get Lucky
Chapter 1- Try and Fix This, Dear. I Dare You.

This is a cruel, unfair life we all live in, but once in a while, we come across something special; something that makes all the hurt and worry quake in fear themselves; something that makes our hearts beat quite fast; it gets our blood pouring through our veins, which then seem as if they were dormant in comparison; something that takes over our bodies, our souls and our thoughts, as if it were a great criminal, breaking into the very frame of our existence. This something kindly takes a nightmare and trades it in for a sweet dream once it comes along, filled with happy memories and wishful dreams for the future. This something is love, and we go through life searching for it, tearing at the breaks of reality and digging deep into the back of our minds to see if there could be something more to rush into our lives. But some of us simply get lucky, and this incredible idea of love enters our lives with passion and caution, for love and emotion take their time. They do not rush upon us; they let us find things out for our own, make mistakes, take wrong turns and think harsh thoughts until we really need love most. And it is those of us who wait for this feeling to be brought upon them instead of forcing it upon themselves that are truly fortunate, as these are those of us that will find love in its purest form. We just wait and wait, until one day…


“What’s going on?!” Em screamed, as she walked into Gerard’s house to find him indulged in a kiss with one of her friends, Nicole. “How…how could you? I though we were friends, Nikki!” Tears had long past threatened to appear; they sprung from her ocean eyes in hasty desperation to escape from their prison.

      “It’s not her fault. Don’t blame her.” Gerard pleaded her case gently, as he walked over to Em, his real girlfriend of two years.

      “Gee…What happened? Why did you go and do this? I mean, Hell, I must have been an idiot, because I thought…I really thought we were in love!” She told him with a hurt tone, her voice shaky and upset, as tears flowed, a downpour of emotion and pain and suffering in liquid form.

      He approached her until they were standing only inches away, looking in each other’s eyes as if they were searching for some sort of truth in this whole lie; honey hazels staring into watery baby blues. Another tear slipped down her right cheek, now flushed scarlet and hot. He raised a tender hand to her face and began to wipe the liquid heartbreak away, prepared to pretend that everything was forgotten. He hoped that if maybe he could push a tear away and convince her that it wasn’t at all real, than maybe he could push away and discard all of the hatred and poetic disgust rising up within her.

      He knew he had made a mistake the second his lips pressed against Nicole’s; he was betraying the girl her loved more than life, the girl he couldn’t be without, the girl he couldn’t ever stop thinking about, the girl he intended to marry and spend the rest of his life with. But instead, he tore her heart into pieces and shredded them one by one until her chest got heavy and breathing hurt from the damage. And Gerard, of all people, knew how fragile Emily’s heart was. A heart that had to be repaired so many times could only handle so much.

      As his calm hand approached her face, she pulled away quickly and scowled, wiping the tears herself.

      “Don’t touch me.” She demanded in what seemed to be a quiet but demanding whisper, a look in her eyes that he couldn’t forget. It was a look of loathing, repulsion and repugnance.

      “Em…I’m so, so, so, so incredibly…” Gerard began, pushing his black hair from his face as he looked her in the eyes with earnest sincerity. “Sorry.”

      “Sorry doesn’t fix things.”

      And with that, she left with haste, not even stopping once to look back. And that may have been for many reasons.

      One, she couldn’t bare to look him in the eyes again, despite the heaviness of his stare weighing her heart down; two, she knew that things wouldn’t change even if she pretended that she could look back and things would be different; three, a look back meant she was lingering on their romance, and she knew that he might think she forgot it all if she let him know that. Or maybe it was because she loved him- but there is nothing to reverse time. What was done was done, and there was no reason to hinder on the past.

      Things had changed between them forever. For an eternity, ‘til death do they part, and never would reality care about a single broken heart.

      Gerard watched her as he prepared to break down. What had he done?


Sorry is only a bittersweet reminder that some things can’t be repaired over time. It’s the first and last thing that we want to hear when we’ve been hurt; of course, it relieves some of the pain (or guilt) on both sides of the story, as in Gerard and Em’s case. But on the other hand, feelings aren’t something to be toyed with, and that, Dear Reader, is because they will never be restored. Say you’re sorry all you want, feign some happiness now and then, fake a smile and a joyful hug if that’s what it takes to make you feel better. But feelings are permanent. They’re broken once, and there’s only one thing that can renovate them again. That is another heart to hold, taken from the safe mind of another, giving us another poor soul’s feelings to play with.

      The past is the past, and no matter how much we imagine we’re stuck there, the future is approaching, second by second.

      And this all leads up to one conclusion. Sorry is a painkiller, but not a remedy to a broken heart.


“That’s…” Mikey began, talking to Em, one of his closest friends for years, as he searched for the correct word to go along with her tragedy. “Terrible.”

      Never would he assume that Gerard was capable of causing someone this much pain. Well-for the most part. He was aware of how much she loved him, how she would give anything to be with him and planned to spend the rest of her life with (He watched her doodle their names in hearts on everything she drew, on grocery lists, and on newspapers; most of these doodle were followed by that one painful word that was destroyed in a matter of seconds. That word was forever). But he never would have believed that he could actually do something like that to her . After all, Mikey thought he loved her just as much as she loved him. He always thought that their feelings were mutual, not even the least bit one sided.
      
      Maybe the music business isn’t for him, he thought to himself. Maybe acting as the way he should have gone.
      
      “He said he was s-s-sorry,” Em sobbed as she sat with him on her soft couch in her living room. “I’m tired of hearing that word!”
      
      Mikey took his best friend’s fragile body in his arms and rubbed her back, the knots in her spine large and noticeable as she had a small, delicate frame. He rested his head on hers, her dark brown hair rubbing up against his skin, tickling his face.
      
      “I know, Em, I know. And I can’t believe that…” He tried to console her. But he stopped himself, for he knew that she was already dismayed enough and realized that it wasn’t like his brother to pull anything like what he pulled that day; Gerard cared about Em. It was unquestionable. Instead of continuing on with the previous sentence, he diminished his speech to “Shhh. Emmy, things are bad now, but I know…I know they’ll get better.”
      
      “But you don’t!” She cried objectively. “You can’t promise anything!...He promised he loved me, you know. But he lied, and promises get broken.”
      
      Mikey held his tongue and stopped himself from saying sorry, or any form of apologetic word, for that matter. Of course, he was sorry, and he knew that she knew it deep down, but she was in a brittle state right now. Sorry was the last word she wanted to hear then; all he really needed to tell her was that he loved her, and would always be there to catch her after she fell.
      
      Maybe it was just the tears flooding her eyes, blurring her vision, but she was sure she saw something in Mikey then; she saw the good spirit within him, the willingness to just give up life to be there for her, whether he could have her as ‘his own’ or not. She saw that he was just as upset about this as she was, and that he knew everything that she felt. He knew her better than she did, or so she believed, and she cared about him more than she cared about her own pain. She felt like she was making him choose between her or his own brother; after all, Gerard had done nothing to him, only her. He had no real reason to be irritated with him, no explanation for what he was feeling. And she couldn’t put him through that.
      
      She tried to stop the tears, to tell her heart to stop caring about things like backstabbing and secrets, but she didn’t know how. She never knew how to quite control her emotions fully; she could hide them until everybody was gone, and then let everything out while she was alone, but that was about it. Some things were just better to be cried about than anything else, and they both knew that this was one of them. There was no going back to what they had before, they were sure, as was Gerard, but how desperately they all wished that the clock would stop ticking and they could push it backwards just a little.
      
      Time stops for no one, even though everybody would stop on a first thought for time.
      
      Holding her in his arms, feeling the heat of her body against his and the energy rushing between them, Mikey kissed the top of her head and wished mentally that she would recover from this.
      


Love is a funny thing; sometimes, we know it’s there, and can feel it rush upon us with a great burden of heavy hearts and secret wishes. Other times, love is stealthy, and stalks up on us from behind and grabs hold of our throats harshly. When a significant other walks by, love squeezes and pulls the air from our lungs, dehydrating us from all other feelings, and although it sounds harsh, we yearn for the tight grip of love for the rest of eternity. And once love grabs on and takes hold of us, it’s hard to get rid of it, for love turns us into parasites, thriving on the actions of others.

Once someone manages to break that love off of our fraught backs, it takes a good deal of time and effort to get back on with our daily lives again. After depending on someone else for so long, letting them capture your every though and base every decision on their hearts, we cannot just shoot back up and convalesce. We let our deprivation of others in our lives eat us up from the inside out, until one day, we finally get sick of it and pretend nothing ever happened.

And it’s the day that love once again takes over our souls that we know things will just start all over again. Most everything in life runs on something else, thus causing a never ending cycle.

For that reason, we all hate that cycle of love and hate, good and evil, fear and hope.


After falling asleep in his arms, Mikey picked Em up in his arms and carried her back to her bedroom. He lay her down with her head sitting on the pillow comfortably, pulled a blanket up over her body for she would have the lack of body heat, and stepped back to look at her thoughtfully.

Em was a great person at heart; she always did what she thought was right, she was modest even though she was the most beautiful girl Mikey had ever met (That remained in the dark to her), she was a talented artist, she never wished anything bad upon people even when they knew they deserved it, and she always knew how to throw a net over his heart and call it hers. Whether it was through a smile or a tear or a giggle, she knew how to get his blood flowing through his veins, making every part of his body wish that she had chosen him over his brother.

Of course, he never let her know how he really felt about her, for he was worried that things would go sour between them and she would take it the wrong way. He figured that she looked up to him as if he were an older brother, not a lover, not for romance, but for support and advice. Gerard was the charmer of the two, the one with the starry eyes when he looked at her, and Mikey was always the one just sorting things out for him and Em. But this time, he wasn’t too sure if he could repair their relationship.

He longed to just say to her, ‘Em, I love you. I know I’ve said that a million and one times before, but it’s different this time. You’re more than my best friend to me, and I don’t care what anybody says. I’m in love with you, Emily, and I have been all along’. But he was never that type to just come out and be forward with his feelings. He’d rather stay friends with Em and be there for Gerard than to say anything about what he thought for himself instead of for others. He was there to tell her what she wanted to hear on some occasions, or to tell her the harsh, cold truth of reality when it was appropriate. His own feelings didn’t matter to him when hers meant so much more.

-Air Port-

“Hey, Baby. I missed you.” Brendon said as he embraced Michelle tightly, kissing her lips with passion and devotion to her and only her. A year and a half and they were still the closest couple their friends had ever met (Just about even with Em and Gerard). Michelle had been on a trip to New York for her clothes line, which was being displayed at Fashion Week.

“I missed you more.” She giggled, her face nuzzled in his pink hoodie, cozy from body warmth.

“How’d the show go?” He wondered thoughtfully, stroking her long hair with fervor.

“I should be asking you the same question, Silly.” She said with a smile, looking up at his deep brown eyes filled with lust. Silly had been a name that she used to call him when they were just close friends, and it stuck and turned out to be one of her favorite pet names to call him; it was quite appropriate, too. He was always trying to pull some kind of trick on Ryan or Spencer or Jon, or acting plain cute.

“You answer first. I don’t care about my show. Tell me about yours.” He insisted, pushing a stray hair behind her ear, in an earnest attempt to stare into her beautiful, shiny eyes.

She blushed as she wrapped he wrapped his arm around her waist and they started walking back to his car, not too far away form the terminal he had greeted her in.

“It was incredible…”She reminisced, sighing. “My line didn’t really fit in entirely well, though; everything was frilly and pink and lacy. Mine…just wasn’t.”

“That’s because you were thinking of all the poor scene kids that never make their way into high fashion. You’re too unique to fit in with everything else there.” Brendon answered, squeezing her side slightly with his strong hand.

She giggled and squealed, “That tickles!”

“Oh, does it? I had no idea.” He responded, although they both knew quite clearly that he did it intentionally. He squeezed her side again, through her fitted black and white tee shirt, kissing her cheek.

She threw her head back and laughed heartily, and leaned her head on his shoulder afterwards. They continued walking back to his vehicle, both with huge smiles that radiated happiness to the rest of the world. They seemed to give off more sunshine than the sun itself.

“Your turn. How did your show go?” She asked curiously, knowing that they had played a secret show in a small town just outside Chicago, so it had been a small venue and a small crowd of people. “I wish I had been there.”

“That’s okay. You can’t be there for all of them, Hun. But it went really well; we got a pretty big turn out for such a small town. And the fan girls were even louder than normal…I guess we picked a good spot to play.”

“I’m a fan girl.” Michelle said, with a pretend tone of offense in her voice.

“You’re different, though. You’re my fan girl. And…” He began, chuckling to himself. “You’ve never told me that you want to lick me. That can be kind of creepy.”

She laughed again, he smile making his day even better than it had been before. His life was fueled by her happiness, her beauty, her voice and her good soul. But she stopped quickly and yawned for a while, using one hand to cover her mouth like she was infectious, her eyes closed as he held her waist and led her towards the car, now in sight.

“Sleepy.” He laughed. “You’re cute when you’re tired.”

She blushed and grinned, rubbing her eyes. “It’s those time differences, Bren. They get me every time.” Suddenly, her cell phone went off in her pocket, playing ‘Time to Dance’ loudly through her red skinny jeans. “Hold on, Silly.”

He nodded silently as not to disrupt her conversation as they got into his car and he started the engine.

“Hello?” She asked, as she had neglected to look at the number on the front of her phone when it had just started to ring.

“Chelle? It’s Mikey.” His voice answered from the other side, as she cocked an eye brow, quite interested to as why he would be calling her. Sure, they were good friends, but he would normally call Em if he ever needed to talk.

“Oh, hey! What’s up?” She asked playfully, thinking that he was in a good mood and happy like he normally was.

“Em and Gerard.” He said solemnly. “She caught him with Nicole today.”

Michelle’s eyes widened in astonishment, her jaw seeming to drop to the ground and a strong gasp escaped her lips.

“You’re kidding.” She managed to get out, as Em and Michelle were best friends as well, although their jobs often got in the way of their time together. “How could he do that to her?! That poor girl’s been through enough! He should know that…He’s a bitch.” She exclaimed into the cell phone, angry with her friend.

“I know, I know. And I don’t know what to do about it, either. She’s sleeping right now, but…I don’t know if I can fix things.”

“Tell her how you feel. She’ll be fine.” Michelle told him quickly, as she always had an answer to things like this.

“What are you talking about?” Mikey asked, feigning his confusion with a terribly fake tone of wondering.

“Mikey, you’re a terrible actor.” She giggled. “Go take a class or two.”

“Screw you.” He answered, as they always quarreled like that, insulting each other with no hesitation because they knew they never meant it.

“No, screw you. You know what I’m talking about.” She told him, calming down. “I know you’re not one to talk about your feelings, but, hey, it would make her see that there are other people out there for her…” She hinted, and he could sense her wink at him from the other side of the line.

“You’re delusional.” He shot back. “She’s my best friend.”

“Just tell her, Stupid!” She retorted.

“Tell Brendon I say hi.” Mikey said suddenly, changing the subject.

“You’re so annoying!” She laughed. “I won’t tell him. But remember what I said.” She told him with a smile across her face. “We’ll be home soon. We can argue then.”

“What a relief. I was scared we might actually agree on something.” He replied sarcastically, with a chuckle on the other end.

“Never.” She responded bluntly, looking over at her boyfriend and blowing him a cutesy kiss. “But I’ll see you soon, Mikey.”

“Okay, Chelle.” He said finally, ready to hang up. “Bye.”

With that, they both hung up simultaneously, and she drifted off to sleep, tired from the plane trip. She knew that she would have sweet dreams, of course; it was Em she was worried about.

All she was sure about was that she was lucky to have Mikey. She hated not being there for her at every second of every day of every week of every year. It made her feel rather guilty.